I’ve been dreaming a lot lately.  Not as in sleeping dreams, but day-dreaming dreams.  I feel like I’m on the verge of some big new steps with Found & Rewound.  And I have been trying to get real honest with myself about what is holding me back.  After some soul searching and good ol’ fashioned “ah ha” moments in the shower (my best day-dreaming spot), I realized that it comes down to this…  I’m scared. 

“Of what?” you say?  Well, that’s what I’ve been trying to figure out.  But I think it’s a combination of things.  I am afraid of taking a big leap and falling flat on my face.  I’m afraid of the super-vulnerable feeling that comes when I put my dreams out in the world hoping for a good stiff breeze to help them take flight.  But the craziest thing that I think I am most afraid of is…. success.  I know.  What. Is. That?  Afraid of success?  It seems wacky to me too, but I think I know deep down inside that I can do anything I put my heart into.  And in a weird way, my BIG dreams seem safer as “just dreams” than reality.

Don’t worry.  I’m not going to let them stay “just dreams”.  I’ve learned too much and come too far for that.  But it is an interesting observation that I’ve been rolling around lately.  It’s got me wondering, how many amazing things do we all put off doing because some deep part of us is afraid we might actually make that big thing happen?  Then what?  We are faced with other big decisions and the consequences of our success and then what?  More success?!?  Our minds are so funny sometimes – trying to make sense of matters that really should be left up to our hearts.

Wish paper collage by Jordan Vinograd Kim

So I’ve decided to get creative with my brain and its fear-driven tactics.  I’m going to let my super-organized, anal-retentive mind have a hay-day and break down these big dreams into tiny heart-driven actions.  I’m going to take it a step further and put all of those little steps into my calendar to tick off each day.  This way my brain can think, “Oh, I’m just marking off my to-do list.”  and before you know it, those big scary dreams may become a reality.  And maybe this will be a way to let my heart take the wheel by creating a detour around my brain’s fear-driven avoidance tactics.  I’ve already started putting it into practices and it seems to be working so far.  I’ve taken some steps that seemed way too scary and big just a few months ago, just by breaking them down and taking it one step at a time.

Now I realize that this isn’t a  new concept.  But using the “millions of tiny steps” trick for making my dreams a reality is a pretty new concept for me.   I’ve certainly done it to help work through uncomfortable steps at work or in school.  But for some reason, I’ve never thought about using to to do something I DO want to do.

So maybe you’d like to join me.  What dream have you been putting off because of a fear of success?  I can’t be the only one doing this.  Let me know in the comments below.  Have any of you tried this or another tactic for making your dreams a reality?  Share it, please!  We can all learn from each other.

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